Indeed i feel the need to do this properly. i cannot, as much as i would feel much rather not have to think this, just let the lines blur in together and things be left for their own closure. during the past couple of months i have been thinking through, really thinking through that i had made a completely deleting out my old private journal, which was never quite left at peace at all, and attempting to make acquaintances with others like myself on here. others that also attempt to find a sort of santuary, or a place to compile their deepest, darkest thoughts. and this thing made wonders, and helped lighten the burden a bit, and the friendly people on here really did make me feel like i wasn't the only one sinking the boat of joy over and over as if looped into misery.
Unfortunately, on my side, real life literally interfered with my livejournal and other soucres, and unfortunately since so little to none of you really even know an ounce of me, that is a difficult story to explain. but between my accounts all being hacked after something else settling down, i realized that, the few friends i did make on here (you know who you are) are the few last people i would have the heart to attempt to talk to. so there, i donot feel like this has completely gone against me like everything else. i did resolve to it when i could not speak what was on my mind, and it helped, a lot. i also noticed that i had continued to use this journal like my private one, and so, it all comes back to this. i may still use this when i feel contended to do so, but that is irrelevant.
Throughout the struggles in real life, and how they interferred with my livejournal didn't realize livejournal as the stress free place for me anymore. when i needed my mind clear the most, it caused me much paranoia. this is an aside, given that i can't/shant/won't rant about this when it's all crashed and burned and the ashes are no longer aflame.
It's a new year, for everyone. Happy new years and good luck with everything. May oportunites arise for all of you, passerbys and people on the list, and may you be focused enough to pick out those oprtunities from the mishaps.